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Sydney Stilwell

A person on their phone getting likes, loves, and follows on social media

How to have a Healthy Relationship with Social Media

By Blog
  1. Use it as a means to inspire and to be inspired. Follow accounts that align with your interests and motivations. Social media holds an incredible amount of information instantly available at your fingertips. Don’t let content just come to you – seek it out. Ask yourself: What makes me happy? What resonates with me? When am I most inspired? Find the content that answers those questions.
  2. Use it to make the world a little bit smaller. We all need more connection right now. Social media is a blessing in disguise when it comes to social distancing. Connect with your friends and family. Network with new people from anywhere in the world. Share that silly video that will make someone smile.
  3. Be selective about what accounts you follow. If you ever feel an account is making you feel sad, angry, left-out, jealous – unfollow them. Unfollow any and all negativity. It’s okay to use this tip and unfollow negative people in real-life too.
  4. Set strict time limits. It is way too easy to get lost scrolling. If you’ve seen The Social Dilemma, you’ll know that social networks have powerful algorithms to keep you locked in. Avoid the possibility of spending way too much time looking at a screen by setting time limits. Here’s how you do it (on an iPhone): Go to settings -> screen time -> app limits -> add limit -> choose any app you spend too much time on and set 15-30 minute limits. Follow this strictly.
  5. Take full days off. Challenge yourself to go at least one day a week with no social media usage. See how you feel on those days.
Pink and purple visual stating "Understanding A Toolkit by Madhappy"

UNDERSTANDING a toolkit by MADHAPPY x AIM

By Blog

During a time where the zeitgeist is filled with divisiveness, we all could use a bit more of understanding. 

When it comes to understanding, we think about it on three levels: understanding the issue at large, understanding ourselves, and understanding others. Each of these are intimately woven and interconnected. If we don’t understand the issue, how can we understand someone’s experience of that issue? If we don’t understand ourselves, how can we understand someone else? 

At Madhappy, the issue we want to spread awareness and understanding of is mental health. Mental health is seemingly ubiquitous yet we still have a tendency to shy away from discussing it. But why? When we talk about something, and learn to understand it intimately, it becomes less scary. Talking to others about our mental health can help us to understand ourselves better, our friends better, and the issue as a whole. It’s also the easiest and most effective way to destigmatize mental health issues. 

So today, we’re going to give you the tools to understand mental health a little bit better so that you can in turn, develop a deeper understanding of yourself, and develop empathy and understanding for others. It’s another step toward our goal of making the world a more optimistic place, one conversation at a time. 

Understanding An Issue

The world is constantly evolving which means we are having to constantly learn, change, and grow. With that, comes introducing and understanding topics and issues that are new and sometimes foreign to us. When you’re being presented with an issue for the first time, or are presenting an issue that is new to someone else, the goal should always be: understanding

The goal isn’t to change one’s mind, just to understand. Then later on, you can make up your mind with a full idea of the issue at hand. 

The problem is, many times we don’t approach things in this way. 

In fact, we approach new ideas and interpret them in ways that confirm our pre-existing beliefs and perspectives. This is called the confirmation bias. This mistake can influence our judgments and decision-making in catastrophic ways because of its disregard for factual information. 

However, when you expand your mind, you are able to more critically understand an issue and the world around you. It doesn’t mean you have to agree or disagree with the information being presented. In fact, seeking information that’s contrary to what you believe can help you understand and empathize with someone who may disagree with you. 

This is hard to do because it requires us to recognize the grey in the world. Things become less black and white. But that’s what is important. By accepting that there is a little grey in every issue, and then finding that grey, we can find greater understanding and empathy. 

Understanding Ourselves

When we develop a deeper understanding of the issue at large, we can take those lessons and apply them to our own self growth. In turn, the more deeply we connect to every part of ourselves, the more we can connect with others in the same way. 

Once you find your footing and knowledge of mental health growing, you can start to explore deeper. All of this stems from awareness. It’s about taking yourself off autopilot; starting to understand yourself, without judgment, so you can learn to foster more self love and self understanding. 

We can begin to understand ourselves a bit better in many different ways. In the same way that mental health is extremely individual, so is our own processes of working on our mental health. Find what feels good! 

If you don’t know what understanding yourself looks like, here are some things to play around with: 

  • Become aware of the constant stream of thoughts in your mind (we call this voice in your head your “internal roommate”) 
  • Become aware of your predictable patterns of behavior 
  • Spend time alone
  • Learn to respond, not react 
  • Learn and explore your boundaries and then honor them
  • Explore your conditioning and coping mechanisms – are they serving you? 


We can develop these understandings via different methods. Here are some of our favorites: 

  • Talking it out with a therapist
  • Journaling
  • Meditating 
  • Scheduling alone time. Whether that means going to a park to be in nature, taking a bubble bath, lighting candles, or putting on music to write it out. 


Understanding Others

Being misunderstood is one of the greatest triggers we have as human beings. The best way to understand others is to approach from a perspective of empathy, rather than sympathy. 

Empathy fuels connection, sympathy drives disconnection. 

Brene Brown has a succinct animated short that sums it up perfectly. She describes it as someone in a deep, dark hole, shouting out, “I’m stuck! It’s dark. I’m overwhelmed.” Empathy is crawling down the ladder into that hole, turning on a light and saying, “Hey, I know what it’s like down here. You’re not alone.” Sympathy is someone sticking their head into the hole and claiming, “Ohhh! It’s bad, huh? At least you still have that one light!” 

Researchers have identified four aspects of empathy: 

  1. Perspective taking: the ability to recognize someone else’s perspective as their truth
  2. Staying out of judgment: understanding them based on their reality, not yours 
  3. Recognizing emotion in other people: this requires connecting to yourself first
  4. Communicating that emotion: this should be done with love and empathy

Empathy is feeling with people. It is a choice and it takes vulnerability. In order to connect with someone else, you have to connect to some part of yourself that knows that feeling. Empathy facilitates true understanding.  

When having conversations with friends, family members, or acquaintances, here are things to keep in mind so that you are operating out of empathy:

What to do:

  • Create the space for mutual, authentic sharing 
  • Ask clarifying questions
  • Listen to understand, not to give advice


What not to do:

  • Speak only from your own experience or opinions 
  • Interrupt
  • Assign meaning to someone else’s intentions 


Understanding drives connection. Understanding helps others feel less alone. Understanding means recognizing that we don’t have all the answers right now. Understanding requires acknowledging that nearly 1 in 4 youth are struggling with a mental health condition of some kind and 75% of all mental disorders begin before age 24. Understanding means seeing that some people are fighting battles that we may never fully identify with. 

Listen to the stories and experiences of others. Learn about symptoms of mental illness. The deeper your understanding and the more knowledge you can share with others, the closer we get to a world of mentally healthy youth. 

Understanding Mental Health

Understanding mental health and mental illness may seem like a daunting task, but it all boils down to the individual. 

Why do some people develop mental illnesses while others don’t? Why does one person’s experience of depression look way different than another’s? How come they started feeling anxiety at age 14 and I’m just starting now at age 26? 

Mental illness is extremely common… and extremely individual. 

We know that not all brains are wired the same. The hard part is grasping what that wiring is and why one brain functions differently than another. 

A mental health condition isn’t usually the result of just genetics or one life event, but multiple linking causes. You may be familiar with the term “nature vs. nurture.” In truth, the answer to where mental health conditions come from is a bit of both. 

Let’s start with some Fast Facts about mental health to clear up any confusion:

  • 1 in 5 Americans will experience a mental health issue this year – you are not alone! 
  • 75% of mental health challenges develop before the age of 24.
  • Mental health results from a combination of genetic predisposition and environmental factors.
  • Mental health challenges don’t have to last forever.
  • Recovery from mental health challenges isn’t linear; it’s unique to each person. There is no such thing as “moving backwards” or “falling off track.”
  • Learning and discussing mental health issues helps combat their stigma.
  • Living successfully in recovery is possible. 


Conclusion

While these are tools to develop our own understanding of mental health, ourselves, and others – there is still more work to be done. 

Research is the answer to understand, to really understand, the wiring of our brains and all the questions that come with living with any mental health condition.

Clinical research focuses on finding better treatments and cures for youth struggling with their mental health today. This could be anything from studying how video games affect social behaviors later in life to how to most effectively teach our youth to engage with the internet healthfully. 

To be more technical, clinical research is a branch of healthcare science that determines the safety and effectiveness of medications, devices, diagnostic products and treatment regimens intended for human use. These may be used for prevention, treatment, diagnosis or for relieving symptoms of an illness. 

The psychologists and psychiatrists who are on the front lines treating youth have told us that there are many unfunded research projects that, if funded, would lead to better treatments and possibly cures for mental illness in the short-term. 

While there are some treatments available, there remains an urgent need to develop better, more precise, effective, and earlier evidence-based interventions for youth experiencing mental distress and disorders. Understanding comes through research and how research can lead to mental wellness. 

Which is exactly why we’re partnering with our friends at Madhappy and The Local Optimist on their October 27 release to help fund urgently needed mental health research. 

Photo of a flower blooming in the middle of the dessert showing resilience

How to Build Mental Health Resilience

By Blog

Resilience is the ability for an individual to be strong in the face of adversity. To be purposeful, creative, optimistic, and tenacious. Having resilience can be an important protection from certain mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression and help us handle present mental health conditions. Whether resilience is inherent within you, or something you have to work towards, practicing can help you experience emotional growth and be a source hope in the midst of a tragedy. These strategies have proven to have a significant impact in building mental and emotional resilience.

Practice Acceptance:

You can’t control everything. You can’t make life foolproof. You can, however, learn to be okay with what is out of your control and have strength to face difficulties as they arise. This involves accepting reality as it is. We know, accepting life is challenging when things are painful. But accepting doesn’t mean agreeing. Accepting is simply allowing yourself to have certain emotions and take them for what they are. Let’s practice. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Notice your thoughts and what emotions you are feeling. Now, let those thoughts pass. Come up with an accepting statement such as “It is what it is.” Or “This too shall pass.” Repeat as needed.

Set SMART goals: Setting realistic physical, social, and emotional goals helps to build resilience. Choosing the right SMART goals (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, time-bound) and working toward them provides motivation to stay the course, regardless of your situation. To gain a deeper internal connection, set goals with a sense of purpose or meaning beyond yourself.

Focus on what you can do: That is: staying home (if you can), practicing physical distancing, wearing a mask in public, washing your hands, being a good neighbor and a good friend. You have the power to make good things happen – to help flatten the curve and get us back to some normal sooner.

Turn negative thoughts into hopeful outcomes: It is not uncommon for your mind to wander toward the negative. Try to turn those thoughts into hopeful outcomes. Things might be different, but our society has a chance to return to a better place.  To give the environment the time to breath, give our minds and bodies a break from a fast-paced life . . . even to reframe how we as a society treat mental health – as it is important now more than ever.

Practice emotional resilience: Try to experience three positive emotions such as optimism, joy, and curiosity for every one negative emotion. How to experience the positive? Simple things like getting outside, cuddling a pet, listening to music, or sending a thank you (text, call, note) to a friend or family member. Feeling positive emotions can build your emotional resilience and increase your ability to persevere over time.

Be creative in your problem solving. Can’t see people in person? Connect with a video call over Zoom. Gym is closed? Take an online workout class in your living room! Can’t get to the grocery store? Dig deep into your pantry and be innovative with the ingredients you already have on hand. While it is frustrating not being able to do the things you are used to doing, there are so many opportunities to be inventive with what you have and can do!

Give empathy. Everyone is suffering in one way or another right now. Be a support system for someone who needs it. But also find emotional support from friends or family when needed to maintain your own emotional health. Asking for help is a sign of strength that builds social resilience.

For the majority of us, building resilience does not happen overnight. Just like anything, it takes time to develop. Focusing on these strategies, can help you grow mentally and emotionally, ultimately, being stronger in the face of adversity. In the midst of all this chaos, resilience will push us through the uncertainty. It will allow us to grow as individuals, and as a world. We will get through this together.

Student or young boy grabbing his head and looking anxious at his computer

If you’re feeling anxious…

By Blog

There is no denying, anxiety levels are through the roof in the midst of the coronavirus panic. Increased levels of stress and anxiety can also mean increased levels of depression, notably in people who have existing prior mental health conditions. Here are some ways to – hopefully- avoid rising levels of anxiety.

  1. Limit Media Intake. While it is important to stay informed, too much negativity can be a cause for panic. What is going on in the world right now, for the most part, is out of anyone’s control. Rather than focusing on every little detail of the virus, focus on what is in your control. That is: staying home (if you can), wearing a mask in public, washing your hands, being a good neighbor and a good friend.
  2. Be conscious of what media you are consuming. There is a lot of misinformation on the internet. Make sure the media you read is from verified and reliable sources.
  3. Take social media breaks. While limiting news media, limit your social media, as well. Social media is good in moderation to keep us connected with our peers and engage us in interesting, amusing, often funny content. However, it can also put pressure on our self-esteem and worry on our minds. Try leaving your phone in another room for 30-minute periods throughout the day. As the saying goes, out of sight, out of mind.
  4. Stay connected, from afar. Staying home does not have to mean total isolation. Schedule daily phone calls or video chats with your friends and family. Make sure you are checking in on anyone that might be alone and need to hear a friendly voice.
  5. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It is a very confusing time. Talking things through with someone and gaining new perspectives might help clear some things up. If you or a loved one are struggling to cope during this pandemic, please use AIM’s Mental Health Resources in English and Spanish.
  6. Be prepared. The thought of going to the grocery store or pharmacy can definitely trigger stress and anxiety. But it is always better to be prepared than left feeling like you have a million things to stock up on at the last minute. Replenish a few weeks’ supply of your favorite foods and necessary medications. And, again, ask for help if you are unable to do this.
  7. Care for yourself. Take this time as an opportunity to focus on oneself. Prioritize sleep, take a bubble bath, practice yoga or meditation. Slow down and connect with yourself. Pay attention to what your body needs. Whether that is a nap, a meaningful conversation, or a healthy meal… take what is needed. You deserve it.